How to be Generous and Raise Generous Children in Economic Times Like These

Contact Marika Flatt, PR by the Book, 512-560-6787, marika@prbythebook.com

MEDIA ADVISORY, Oct. 9 /Christian Newswire/ -- The following is from Dr. Steve McSwain, author, fundraising executive, inspirational speaker, and philanthropist. He is the Senior Vice President of Cargill Associates, Inc. and founder of the Foundation for Excellence in Giving, Inc.

We are in an economic crisis. So, what will we learn? If I were to ask you to identify the most important thing you would hope your child would learn from this and carry into adulthood, what would it be?

For me, I would want my child to learn that happiness and security has little to do with career choice, how much money she might make and salt away, or even what she might accomplish. Instead, it has everything to do with knowing for herself what her purpose is on earth. That is, to know why she showed up here. What could be more important for her to know with absolute certainty? Knowing why she's here will enable her to survive anything--an economic meltdown, notwithstanding.

So, why did she show up? And, why did you, for that matter? What is life's purpose?

The greatest spiritual teacher once said, "He who would save his life will lose it, but he who gives his life away, will find it." Strange words, are they not? How so? They fly in the face of what our culture says will bring you permanent happiness and security. Most mistakenly think happiness is found in the amount of money they earn, how much they manage to save for retirement, and the titles and recognition they receive throughout life.

This mistaken notion has been around a long time. But, it's faulty thinking like much of the faulty thinking that surrounds the principal cause behind the present economic crisis on Wall Street--a crisis which has dominated the news and generated much anxiety on Main Street. It's not just corporate big shots, however, who are to blame for the failure in our financial markets. Granted, many of them have watched their companies close while they've safely floated away in "multi-million dollar parachutes." But, there are many ordinary folks who are to blame, too. The majority of people in our culture have, in the words of Will Rogers, "borrowed money they don't have, to buy things they don't need, to keep up with people they don't even like."

And, why? It's nothing more than unbridled greed, motivated by the mistaken notion that we are what we own, we are what we accomplish, and our security is in how much we've saved for the future. It's all a myth.

I want my child to grow up knowing real security, real joy. To know--without having to be reminded through a Wall Street meltdown--that whatever she accomplishes or earns will not make her happy or secure--not for long, anyway. Isn't that far more important for her to know? Her happiness and security will be experienced only as she gives her life to a grander purpose--a purpose that goes beyond making money, living in a big house, or succumbing to the illusion of thinking she's saved enough to make herself financially secure. All of these are illusions of happiness and security. Real joy and security is found, "not in getting," as Og Mandino reminded us, "but only in giving."

I'm aware nobody wants to hear this in economic times like these, unless, of course, you are one of the few who has learned this important life lesson already--and, if so, then something in you resonates with the truth of it.

In the end, it doesn't matter if my child is the CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a counter clerk at a coffee shop. What matters is her happiness and security. If she earns a lot of money, so be it. She'll just have more to give away, since that is the purpose that motivates her to get out of bed every morning.

If she makes a name for herself, well, that's fine, too. But, since her real joy is in giving, the popularity or fame she's earned will just provide a larger and more influential stage upon which to perform or demonstrate her grander purpose for life and living--the sharing of herself and her wealth with the world.

If she saves enough to fill the vaults of Fort Knox with her vast earnings, then good for her. She'll have a lot to give away through a charitable foundation as she lives out her final years fulfilling the real purpose of her life--giving. This she will do as a mature adult, instead of what most mindless wealthy people do--leave their wealth to a selfish, unappreciative family who end up squabbling over it in probate courts--sometimes for years.

But then, if the economy were to unexpectedly collapse and she lose it all...well, if that were to happen, she'll just live out her days like the vast majority of the rest of us--retired and broke. But, I suspect there would be a difference with her. And, what would that difference be? She'll be broke like everyone else, but happy nonetheless. Why? Because, just like the proverbial widow whom Jesus introduced to the world long ago, even in her poverty, she, too, will be giving her last two pennies to someone in greater need.

Why? Well, it has something to do, again, with this grander purpose of her life. It's that which gives her life meaning, joy, and a real sense of security.

Isn't this the sort of thing you would want your child to grow up knowing? Here's how I would suggest you get started:

First, live this purpose yourself. Most of what children know they've not been taught in a classroom, but they've "caught" through observation. As a parent, when you give yourself away and generously share your resources with others, you are modeling an understanding of real happiness that your child will quickly learn. Be generous, but especially in tough economic times, and you’ll more likely raise a generous child who doesn't look for her fulfillment in titles or things, but in the sharing her life and resources with others.

Second, don't fret over the money markets, especially in front of the kids. Even if you and I were to lose everything--which isn't likely--is it not true, we still have our lives? Our families? Each other? The church? What kind of message does your child get if most of your conversations these days are about the horrible financial crisis and, not only this, but your conversation is drenched with anxiety and worry? The market is what it is. Stay focused on your grander purpose for living and stop the incessant worrying. Didn't the spiritual teacher say, "Seek first the Kingdom--(that world within where God is, and peace, joy and real security)--and the rest will be provided?"

Dr. McSwain is the author of The Giving Myths. His website is: www.stevemcswain.com. To contact him for an interview, speaking assignment, or consultation, contact Marika Flatt at PR by the Book (512) 560-6787 marika@prbythebook.com, www.prbythebook.com.